Life
by danny1
Summary: Bosco finds painful memories too much for him so will he take the easy way out?
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing at all, not one smigaroon. NBC and the others own the lot  
SPOILERS: Up to Black out  
RATING: PG-14 to M I guess  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my first fan fic ever so please be gentle with me. Also please review becuase ya'll know that reviews are the only way you get more :) I'd like to dedicate this to the floowing people, some I know, others I don't but I've heard great things of you.  
This is for thumper, cheerleader86, cheaptart86, minnie mouse, CCA, Ness & TWjunkie. Thank ya'll.   
SUMMARY: Well this is my what not of a while after Blackout. Bosco you know is starting to crack after he stops taking his pills and faces similar situations that bring up painful memories.  
  
  
The anti-depressants sat on the table, untouched for over a month. All that he'd wanted to do was get over this himself. He wanted to figure it out on his own, but with the pills he couldn't and that was why he had stopped taking them. His hand was shaking as he reached for them. As he opened the bottle questions filled his mind. Ignoring them he put a handful of pills in his mouth. Taking a deep breath, knowing that it could well be his last he took a swig out of the vodka bottle to wash the pills down. Would it be worth it? 


	2. 2

************************A FEW DAYS EARLIER*****************************  
"Faith are you ok?" Bosco asked his partner but didn't take his eyes off the mad gunman running up the stairs. Faith moaned slightly before giving a response. "I'm ok." She said holding her injured shoulder. Bosco got the reassurance he'd needed. As long as she was alright nothing else would stop him from getting the jackass. Faith looked up to see her partner running up the stairs.   
"Bosco wait for backup!" Faith called to her partner hovering over the injured man. Faith looked up to see that Bosco was no longer in sight. "Bosco! He has a gun!" Anxiously Faith stared up the stairs hoping that her partner would be ok but she knew she couldn't leave the injured man.  
"55-David to central we need backup and a bus at this location." Faith called into her radio whilst pushing people away from the bleeding man.   
"Bosco!" Faith called again knowing it was useless.   
  
Up on the higher floors there were less people. Bosco hadn't even seen anybody for the last two floors. There was little sign of the gunman, except for the blood trail he was leaving behind him.   
"Faith." Bosco whispered behind him, sure that she would have caught up to him by now.   
"Faith."   
Bosco looked at the wall ahead and saw a blood smear on it. He was hit with a violent memory of the incident with Jared McKinley. The scene was all too familar, chasing a gunman in an apartment complex trying to call to Faith not knowing where she was. Suddendly the memories of himself getting shot felt so real. IT was almost as if he could feel the pain from the bullet again. Bosco's breath became short and ragged as reached for his stomach. His hands were shaking but he knew that nothing had happened to him. Please don't let this happen again, he thought to himself. The pills don't help he told himself. The sound of the door leading to the roof bought him out of his uneasy state. Bosco furiously ran up the next flight of stairs and up onto the roof, unaware of just what lay ahead.   
"Stay back!" The man yelled as the police officer in it. **I'm already in so much trouble...maybe I should just end it now...or should I keep going?"*** The police officer was talking but the man really wasn't listening. Too much was happening in his mind. Without thinking he raised his gun and pointed it straight at the police officer.  
"Don't come any closer! I'm warning you!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. Bosco knew that he could get close enough to the guy but wasn't sure if the guy would lose it or not. The man started mumbling to himself, saying things that didnt make any sense. Slowly he walked towards Bosco, still keeping the gun aimed at his body.   
"You wouldn't understand."  
**Is this worth it? Is my life worth it?* Suddenly the man stopped dead in his tracks and raised the gun at his own head. Bosco kept trying to reassure the man that everything would be ok but knew it was a waste of time. The man walked up to Bosco and stood next to him.   
"This is the only way I can stop the memories." He cried before pulling the trigger. Bosco felt warm blood on his face, but couldn't wipe it off. Bosco stood staring at the man trying to forget the memory that was crepping into his mind.   
##"Don't shoot him it's suicide"##  
The blood on his face was Hobart's. It felt like Hobart's, it reminded him of Hobart's. Scared and panicky he looked down at the perp again to see that indeed it wasn't Hobart. In his mind it had been so real. He could feel himself starting to panic again. *That was a long time ago....it wasn't like this. There was more so much more loss.* Not able to move Bosco just stood nad stared, leaving the blood on his face.   
Sully and Davis reached the roof not long after they'd heard the gunshot, the medics were close behind them. At first they hadn't seen anything when they walked onto the roof, but then they saw everything. There was a man lying, unmoving on the ground and Bosco was standing on the edge of the roof staring down onto the street. Kim and Alex ran over to the man knowing almost instantly when they saw him that there was nothing they could do to help. Sully and Davis hurried over to Bosco, hoping that he was ok.   
"What happened?" Sully asked as he neared Bosco's position. Bosco heard Sully but couldn't answer. For some reason he just couldn't talk, there was too much going on inside of his head...too many memories.   
"Bosco what happened?" Sully asked again thinking that Bosco hadn't heard. Davis and Sully looked at each when Bosco again didn't reply.   
"Bosco." Davis said touching his friend on the shoulder, "Are you ok?" Bosco could hear them talking to him, but didn't want to answer. He didn't want them to see what was going on in his mind. They wouldn't understand.   
"Bos...." 


End file.
